Hear of a Good One Lately

New_Windsor_NY · Post by **New_Windsor_NY** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 2:17 pm

doglegg wrote: ↑Sat Oct 12, 2019 12:00 pm Skip, you got me on that one.
I guess he is.

You got it! (How Long is his name)

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:14 pm

I was texting and driving and rear ended a car at a stoplight. The driver, who happened to be a dwarf, got out of the car shaking his fist and yelled out, "I'm not happy!"
I replied, "well, okay then, which one are you?"

treefarmer · Post by **treefarmer** » Sat Oct 12, 2019 8:30 pm

Ike,
That is also funny! I need something to cheer me up, sittin’ here watchin’ Clemson beat FSU like a drum. At this rate the score will be 84-0 at the end.
Treefarmer

Quick Steel · Post by **Quick Steel** » Sun Oct 13, 2019 12:31 am

Ike, That was a big LOL for me.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:09 pm

We all know why 6 was afraid of 7.
Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 7 8 9?
Because 8 heard you were to eat 3 squared meals a day.

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:41 pm

Eustace · Post by **Eustace** » Wed Oct 16, 2019 7:25 pm

- What are your plans for the autumn?
- I'll drink brandy.
- Excuse me, but you said the same about your plans for the summer?"
- I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't understand the subtle semantic difference between the enchantment of a challenging summer drunkenness and the existentialism of a depressing autumn binge.

Eustace · Post by **Eustace** » Wed Oct 16, 2019 8:20 pm

When invented whiskey, Irish disappear for three centuries from history:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_ ... iscoveries

bighomer · Post by **bighomer** » Thu Oct 17, 2019 12:39 pm

Good stuff Eustace

.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:34 pm

Apple pie costs $2.00 in Jamaica, it cost $2.50 in the Bahamas.

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:36 pm

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.
That's humerus.

New_Windsor_NY · Post by **New_Windsor_NY** » Tue Oct 22, 2019 9:44 pm

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They each get drunk. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave. The bartender says "Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there." The man says, "No, it's not a lion. It's a giraffe."

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:09 pm

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:52 pm

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

The cow has the udder.

TwoFlowersLuggage · Post by **TwoFlowersLuggage** » Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:07 pm

doglegg - are you having a bit of deja vu all over again?

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:12 pm

TwoFlowersLuggage wrote: ↑Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:07 pm doglegg - are you having a bit of deja vu all over again?

As a matter if fact I do sometimes repeat myself (often a dozen times a day). Thank you TFL, corrections made.

WillyCamaro · Post by **WillyCamaro** » Tue Oct 29, 2019 3:52 am

Moooooo'

.

Mumbleypeg · Post by **Mumbleypeg** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 8:35 pm

edge213 · Post by **edge213** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:57 am

Mumbleypeg wrote: ↑Wed Oct 30, 2019 8:35 pm

That was great!!

Unk · Post by **Unk** » Sun Nov 03, 2019 3:53 pm

A CNN REPORTER WALKS INTO A NEIGHBORHOOD TAVERN AND IS ABOUT TO ORDER A DRINK WHEN HE SEES A GUY AT THE END OF THE BAR WEARING A "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" HAT. IT DIDN'T TAKE AN EINSTEIN TO KNOW THE GUY WAS A DONALD TRUMP SUPPORTER.

THE CNN GUY SHOUTS OVER TO THE BARTENDER, LOUDLY ENOUGH THAT EVERYONE IN THE BAR COULD HEAR, "DRINKS FOR EVERYONE IN HERE, BARTENDER, EXCEPT FOR THAT TRUMP SUPPORTER."

AFTER THE DRINKS WERE HANDED OUT THE TRUMP GUY GIVES THE CNN GUY A BIG SMILE, WAVES AT HIM AND SAYS, IN AN EQUALLY LOUD VOICE, "THANK YOU!"

THIS INFURIATES THE CNN REPORTER. SO HE ONCE AGAIN LOUDLY ORDERS DRINKS FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT THE GUY WEARING THE TRUMP HAT. AS BEFORE, THIS DOESN'T SEEM TO BOTHER THE TRUMP GUY. HE JUST CONTINUES TO SMILE AND AGAIN YELLS, "THANK YOU!"

SO THE CNN GUY AGAIN LOUDLY ORDERS DRINKS FOR EVERYONE EXCEPT THE TRUMP GUY. AND AGAIN THE TRUMP GUY JUST SMILES AND YELLS BACK, "THANK YOU!"

AT THAT POINT THE AGGRAVATED CNN REPORTER ASKS THE BARTENDER, "WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH THAT TRUMP SUPPORTER? I'VE ORDERED THREE ROUNDS OF DRINKS FOR EVERYONE IN THE BAR BUT HIM AND ALL THE SILLY ASS DOES IS SMILE AND THANK ME. IS HE NUTS?"

"NOPE," REPLIES THE BARTENDER. "HE OWNS THE PLACE."

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Fri Nov 08, 2019 1:02 am

Just in:
New federal legislation will require electric car owners to have a current license.

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Wed Nov 20, 2019 12:55 am

Do you know what 0 said to 8?

Nice belt!

Waukonda · Post by **Waukonda** » Wed Nov 20, 2019 3:19 am

doglegg · Post by **doglegg** » Wed Nov 20, 2019 5:03 pm

The meteorologist who invented the wind chill factor died recently.
He was 82 years old but he felt like he was 64.

WillyCamaro · Post by **WillyCamaro** » Wed Nov 20, 2019 5:23 pm

All About Pocket Knives

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