Hear of a Good One Lately

If you can think of something to talk about that is not related to knives, discuss it here.
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edge213
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by edge213 »

::tu:: 7 ::tu::
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royal0014
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by royal0014 »

::rotflol:: ::rotflol:: ::rotflol:: ::rotflol::
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Old Folder
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Old Folder »

IMG_3458.JPG
It's always important to know what you don't know.
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QTCut5
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by QTCut5 »

The other day I held the door open for a clown.
It was a nice jester.
(with apologies to Floyd!)
We are all just prisoners here of our own device.
In the master's chamber they gather for the feast.
They stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast.
(Eagles: Hotel California)


~Q~
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by doglegg »

::tounge:: ::tounge:: ::handshake::
QTCut5 wrote: Tue Jan 14, 2020 3:53 pm The other day I held the door open for a clown.
It was a nice jester.
(with apologies to Floyd!)
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Quick Steel
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Quick Steel »

What do you call a pencil with an eraser at both ends? Pointless.
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Steve Warden
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Steve Warden »

A gentleman at a bar overhears two rather rotund ladies a few stools down being rather boisterous.
Curious about their accent, he approaches them.
"Are you ladies from London?"
"WALES! YOU IDIOT!!"
"I'm sorry. Are you whales from London?"



And that's when the fight started, officer.
Take care and God bless,

Steve
TSgt USAF, Retired
1980-2000

But any knife is better than no knife! ~ Mumbleypeg (aka Ken)
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dlr110
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by dlr110 »

Steve Warden wrote: Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:34 pm A gentleman at a bar overhears two rather rotund ladies a few stools down being rather boisterous.
Curious about their accent, he approaches them.
"Are you ladies from London?"
"WALES! YOU IDIOT!!"
"I'm sorry. Are you whales from London?"



And that's when the fight started, officer.
That certainly helped my mood, thank you Steve. ::rotflol::
David R (United States Navy Retired)
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djknife13
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by djknife13 »

Do you know what Communists used to light their houses with before candles.........Electricity.
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Paladin »

djknife13 wrote: Fri Jan 17, 2020 10:39 pm Do you know what Communists used to light their houses with before candles.........Electricity.
And socialists! :mrgreen:

Ray
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by doglegg »

Do you know why Bonnie never drove the get away car?

She was a bad Parker. ::tounge::
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Waukonda
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Waukonda »

Floyd ::tu:: .

Did you hear about the guy who showed up late for the cannibals meeting?

All he got was the cold shoulder!
Ike
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by doglegg »

Waukonda wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 9:34 pm Floyd ::tu:: .

Did you hear about the guy who showed up late for the cannibals meeting?

All he got was the cold shoulder!
That one made me groan. My favorite kind. ::tu::
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Quick Steel
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Quick Steel »

Old Folder, tho I have looked at your entry several times, it still evokes a chuckle.
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fergusontd
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by fergusontd »

::hmm:: That canible could have gotten toemain poison from that cold shoulder! ftd
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doglegg
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by doglegg »

fergusontd wrote: Wed Feb 05, 2020 1:34 pm ::hmm:: That canible could have gotten toemain poison from that cold shoulder! ftd
I thought he might have gotten TOEmain poison if he ate the feet as well.
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Paladin »

doglegg wrote: Wed Feb 05, 2020 1:56 pm
fergusontd wrote: Wed Feb 05, 2020 1:34 pm ::hmm:: That canible could have gotten toemain poison from that cold shoulder! ftd
I thought he might have gotten TOEmain poison if he ate the feet as well.
:lol: :lol: :lol: Doglegg,, you are too much! ::rotflol:: ::rotflol::

Ray
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by jerryd6818 »

A Punster of the first degree.
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.

This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.

"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by mrwatch »

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband and they both set off in search of the old woman.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was standing face to face with a ferocious lion. "What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked.
"Nothing" her husband replied "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it"
----------------
Failed the health & safety test at work today

One of the questions was, “What steps would you do in case of a fire?”

DARN BIG ONES apparently wasn't the correct answer.
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QTCut5
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by QTCut5 »

Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do all their drinking at home. ::nod::
We are all just prisoners here of our own device.
In the master's chamber they gather for the feast.
They stab it with their steely knives but they just can't kill the beast.
(Eagles: Hotel California)


~Q~
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Quick Steel
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Quick Steel »

::facepalm::
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Eustace
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Eustace »

What does criminology study?

Criminology is a science that studies criminals - losers.

Successful criminals are studied by political science.
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Eustace
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Eustace »

Doctor to patient:
- No, ma'am, I can't stretch your wrinkles anymore.
- Why?
- Did you see in the mirror that charming dimple in your chin?
- Yes! And what?
- Well, that's your navel ... And if I keep going, you'll have a beard.
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Eustace
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Eustace »

For his birthday, little Ivancho received a gift from his father - a cellphone.
The next morning, on way to work, the father tells Ivancho:
-If there is a problem, Ivancho - call me!
At about ten o'clock Ivancho called his father:
-Dad, the cat poop in the living room!
-Ivancho, you are big already, take the broom and clean!
At twelve o'clock Ivancho called again:
-Dad, Mom came with a man, they both closed in the bedroom. Now I look through the lock - the man pulls off his pants!
Let me tell you now that I will not clean it !!!
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Eustace
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Re: Hear of a Good One Lately

Post by Eustace »

Swiss scientists have found that chocolate boosts mood - apparently they have not tasted brandy.
Research scientists in the field of sex empirically determined that it is not bad to be a research scientist in the field of sex.
After years of research, a group of scientists have found that most vitamins are found in pharmacies.
Magadan scientists have made another discovery - they have once again confirmed the widespread notion that size doesn't matter because women with a sense of humor can laugh at any size.
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