Hear of a Good One Lately
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 12909
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Moss,
That’s plumb funny! Lots of funny mental pictures with that one.
Treefarmer
That’s plumb funny! Lots of funny mental pictures with that one.
Treefarmer
A GUN IN THE HAND IS BETTER THAN A COP ON THE PHONE.
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jerryd6818
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 39184
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: The middle of the top of a bastion of Liberalism.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
This actually works. 
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
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Mumbleypeg
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 13468
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:28 am
- Location: Republic of Texas
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
One day a big black sedan turns in the gate and stops by a farmer working outside by his barn. A guy gets out of the car and introduces himself. “ Hello, I’m a DEA agent. We have found there’s been a lot of marijuana planted around this area without the landowners knowing about it. We are doing a search of all rural areas and need to search your farm. Do I have your permission?”
The farmer replies "Sure go ahead, but if I was you I'd stay out of that field on the right, up there at the top of the hill.”
The agent whips out his badge and says "See this badge? It gives me the right to go anywhere I need to in order to do my job, is that clear?"
The farmer shrugs and says “okay”, and goes back to work.
In a few minutes the farmer hears a big ruckus and looks up to see the agent running across that field hollering for help, with the farmer's bull in pursuit.
The farmer runs over to the fence and yells "Quick! Show him your badge!”
Ken
The farmer replies "Sure go ahead, but if I was you I'd stay out of that field on the right, up there at the top of the hill.”
The agent whips out his badge and says "See this badge? It gives me the right to go anywhere I need to in order to do my job, is that clear?"
The farmer shrugs and says “okay”, and goes back to work.
In a few minutes the farmer hears a big ruckus and looks up to see the agent running across that field hollering for help, with the farmer's bull in pursuit.
The farmer runs over to the fence and yells "Quick! Show him your badge!”
Ken
Member AKTI, TSRA, NRA.
If your religion requires that you hate someone, you need a new religion.
When the people fear their government, that is tyranny. When government fears the people, that is freedom.
https://www.akti.org/
If your religion requires that you hate someone, you need a new religion.
When the people fear their government, that is tyranny. When government fears the people, that is freedom.
https://www.akti.org/
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 12909
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I’m not going to explain to Gaffer why I’mMossdancer wrote:clean cat.jpg
If anyone should object, please read the entire thing. It is funny
Hmmm, he’s looking a bit scungy....
I’m too young to be this old!
“Hey Ann, gotchyer knife?!”
“Hey Ann, gotchyer knife?!”
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Chris
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Do you know why pirates never shower before they walk the plank?
The wash up on shore later.
The wash up on shore later.
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16984
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Nice one doglegg.-
carrmillus
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 6293
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 9:22 pm
- Location: tupelo, miss.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
...............priceless!!!.............Mumbleypeg wrote:One day a big black sedan turns in the gate and stops by a farmer working outside by his barn. A guy gets out of the car and introduces himself. “ Hello, I’m a DEA agent. We have found there’s been a lot of marijuana planted around this area without the landowners knowing about it. We are doing a search of all rural areas and need to search your farm. Do I have your permission?”
The farmer replies "Sure go ahead, but if I was you I'd stay out of that field on the right, up there at the top of the hill.”
The agent whips out his badge and says "See this badge? It gives me the right to go anywhere I need to in order to do my job, is that clear?"
The farmer shrugs and says “okay”, and goes back to work.
In a few minutes the farmer hears a big ruckus and looks up to see the agent running across that field hollering for help, with the farmer's bull in pursuit.
The farmer runs over to the fence and yells "Quick! Show him your badge!”
Ken
...........................Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Do you know why pirates have trouble saying their alphabet?
They always get lost at sea.
They always get lost at sea.
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16984
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
That may be a plank too far.Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Quick Steel wrote:
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
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fergusontd
- Posts: 1821
- Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:03 pm
- Location: West Central Ohio
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
These posts should have a RRRRRR rating. ftd"A pocketknife is a man's best friend!"
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
That one made me groan fergustontd. My favorite kind of joke, one that gets a groan instead of a laugh.fergusontd wrote:
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jerryd6818
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 39184
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: The middle of the top of a bastion of Liberalism.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Ferg, you are a hoot.fergusontd wrote:
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Default Re: Daily Chuckle
Subject: 68 AND PREGNANT . . . .
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young
new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor
told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the
corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the
doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years
old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she
was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
Subject: 68 AND PREGNANT . . . .
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young
new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor
told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the
corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the
doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years
old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she
was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 12909
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
mrwatch,
Just shared this with Miss Joy for a big morning laugh!
Treefarmer
Just shared this with Miss Joy for a big morning laugh!
Treefarmer
A GUN IN THE HAND IS BETTER THAN A COP ON THE PHONE.
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16984
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Had a boss-person literally jump up and scream in my face.
'bout scared the you-know-what outta me .... but I stopped hiccuping !
Chris
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I don't write this stuff.
Wednesday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.
I was bored with nothing to do.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said, "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked,
"What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the snot out of me. Never got this far before.."
Wednesday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.
I was bored with nothing to do.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said, "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked,
"What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the snot out of me. Never got this far before.."
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I quit my job at the helium factory...….
I didn't like to be talked to in that tone of voice.
I didn't like to be talked to in that tone of voice.