A dog walks into a bar, pushing his way through the swinging doors with one front foot tightly wrapped in blood-soaked gauze, the wounded foot still dripping blood.
The dog says: "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw...."
Hear of a Good One Lately
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Working Edge
- Posts: 159
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:49 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Praise the Lord,
Pass the ammunition
Pass the ammunition
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Working Edge
- Posts: 159
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:49 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A guy walks into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol yelling “I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a 7 round magazine and 1 in the chamber and I want to know whose been sleeping with my wife.”
A voice from the back of the bar yells “your gonna need more ammo!”
A voice from the back of the bar yells “your gonna need more ammo!”
Tom
AAPK Administrator
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
AAPK Administrator
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
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Mumbleypeg
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 13466
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:28 am
- Location: Republic of Texas
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I’ve been taking a daily supplement that is supposed prevent memory loss. I can’t remember the name of it. 
Ken
Ken
Member AKTI, TSRA, NRA.
If your religion requires that you hate someone, you need a new religion.
When the people fear their government, that is tyranny. When government fears the people, that is freedom.
https://www.akti.org/
If your religion requires that you hate someone, you need a new religion.
When the people fear their government, that is tyranny. When government fears the people, that is freedom.
https://www.akti.org/
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Soldiers sit in a trench. One of them takes out a trophy cigar, puts it in his mouth, and raises his head so that the tip of the cigar protrudes above the trench.
An enemy sniper fire is heard, the bullet cuts off the tip of the cigar and ignites it.
The soldier sits on the ground, puffs contentedly, emits a wheel of smoke and says:
- That sniper is a big deal. It saves me a match, and I don't have a cigar knife ...
- Isn't that dangerous? - asks sitting next to him fighter.
- No! If you don't inhale smoke in your lungs, no problem ...
An enemy sniper fire is heard, the bullet cuts off the tip of the cigar and ignites it.
The soldier sits on the ground, puffs contentedly, emits a wheel of smoke and says:
- That sniper is a big deal. It saves me a match, and I don't have a cigar knife ...
- Isn't that dangerous? - asks sitting next to him fighter.
- No! If you don't inhale smoke in your lungs, no problem ...
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A good biker can distinguish over 30 types of insects ... to taste.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
bestgear wrote: ↑Sat Jun 19, 2021 9:17 pm A guy walks into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol yelling “I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a 7 round magazine and 1 in the chamber and I want to know whose been sleeping with my wife.”
A voice from the back of the bar yells “your gonna need more ammo!”
Hey … it’s a pocketknife for gosh sakes. I’m not selling the Mona Lisa….Bullitt4001
https://www.jfinamoreknives.com
http://www.secondlifeknives.com
https://www.jfinamoreknives.com
http://www.secondlifeknives.com
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Eustace wrote: ↑Sun Aug 29, 2021 6:10 pm Soldiers sit in a trench. One of them takes out a trophy cigar, puts it in his mouth, and raises his head so that the tip of the cigar protrudes above the trench.
An enemy sniper fire is heard, the bullet cuts off the tip of the cigar and ignites it.
The soldier sits on the ground, puffs contentedly, emits a wheel of smoke and says:
- That sniper is a big deal. It saves me a match, and I don't have a cigar knife ...
- Isn't that dangerous? - asks sitting next to him fighter.
- No! If you don't inhale smoke in your lungs, no problem ...
Mumbleypeg wrote: ↑Sun Jul 04, 2021 9:22 pm I’ve been taking a daily supplement that is supposed prevent memory loss. I can’t remember the name of it.
Ken
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Years ago I rode through a swarm of bees at 60 mph, no kidding! Glad I had my mouth shut.
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OLDE CUTLER
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 4342
- Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:11 pm
- Location: South Dakota
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Did you hear the one about the porno actor who retired and got into driving truck coast to coast? He got a new Peterbuilt.
"Sometimes even the blind chicken finds corn"
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Must have worn his original one out.
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jerryd6818
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 39184
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: The middle of the top of a bastion of Liberalism.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Already posted this one in another thread, but it seems it would fit in here as well...especially after that last one!
- Age Is Just A Number.jpg (42.12 KiB) Viewed 2219 times
~Q~
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
When you really think about it...don't we do pretty much everything @$$ backwards! 
~Q~
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Captain O
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A friend of mine and I was discussing "Polish Soul Food" and he asked me if I liked Polish Kielbasa. I replied "yes". He asked how I felt about Pirogis, and I told him that they were good when fresh. He asked how I felt about Chrusciki (Polish 'Angel Wings' cookies). I told him that they were nice. Then he asked if I liked Garagkey and I asked him what they were. He replied. "They're what you use to open a garage door." 
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Captain O
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I MUST stop dating!
I went out on a date with a younger lady that told me she was "quite a catch"... so I threw her back in the Columbia River!
I went out on a date with a younger lady that told me she was "quite a catch"... so I threw her back in the Columbia River!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Not much chance on a second date, unless you get some worms.
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Captain O
