That one made me groan fergustontd. My favorite kind of joke, one that gets a groan instead of a laugh.fergusontd wrote:These posts should have a RRRRRR rating. ftd
Hear of a Good One Lately
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
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jerryd6818
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 39180
- Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:23 am
- Location: The middle of the top of a bastion of Liberalism.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Ferg, you are a hoot.fergusontd wrote:
Forged on the anvil of discipline.
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
The Few. The Proud.
Jerry D.
This country has become more about sub-groups than about it's unity as a nation.
"The #72 pattern has got to be pretty close to the perfect knife."
--T.J. Murphy 2012
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Default Re: Daily Chuckle
Subject: 68 AND PREGNANT . . . .
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young
new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor
told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the
corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the
doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years
old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she
was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
Subject: 68 AND PREGNANT . . . .
A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young
new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor
told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the
corridor screaming.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening
to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the
doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 68 years
old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she
was pregnant?!!"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 12891
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
mrwatch,
Just shared this with Miss Joy for a big morning laugh!
Treefarmer
Just shared this with Miss Joy for a big morning laugh!
Treefarmer
A GUN IN THE HAND IS BETTER THAN A COP ON THE PHONE.
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16974
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Had a boss-person literally jump up and scream in my face.
'bout scared the you-know-what outta me .... but I stopped hiccuping !
Chris
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
i woke last night to the sound of thunder
how far off i sat and wondered
started humming a song from nineteen sixty two
aint it funny how the night moves
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I don't write this stuff.
Wednesday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.
I was bored with nothing to do.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said, "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked,
"What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the snot out of me. Never got this far before.."
Wednesday morning the weather was too bad to play golf.
I was bored with nothing to do.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to find a young, well dressed man standing there who said:
"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
So I said, "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked,
"What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats the snot out of me. Never got this far before.."
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I quit my job at the helium factory...….
I didn't like to be talked to in that tone of voice.
I didn't like to be talked to in that tone of voice.
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16974
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Good one Floyd.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
This is a lengthy thread so hope this hasnt already been posted, but anyway.....
This young slacker lollygags into work one morning, well past starting time. When the boss sees him he begins yelling at him across the room as he walks towards him. The boss's face is beet red and veins bulging as he gets in the young guys face yelling "This is the 3rd time this week you have been late! Do you know what this means? Do ya? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"
The slacker cocks his head, and replies, "Uh.....it's Wednesday?"
This young slacker lollygags into work one morning, well past starting time. When the boss sees him he begins yelling at him across the room as he walks towards him. The boss's face is beet red and veins bulging as he gets in the young guys face yelling "This is the 3rd time this week you have been late! Do you know what this means? Do ya? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"
The slacker cocks his head, and replies, "Uh.....it's Wednesday?"
Ike
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
My boy asked me if I knew what a solar eclipse was?...….
I told him 'no son'.
I told him 'no son'.
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Quick Steel
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 16974
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:39 pm
- Location: Lebanon, KY
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WillyCamaro
- Posts: 6097
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:03 am
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
"Never, never, never give up."
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Winston Churchill
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:34
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A rather large fellow was advised by his doctor to shed a few pounds, he decided that maybe he should cut back on the Krispy Kreme donuts and determined that the best way would be to only allow himself the luxury of buying some if the " hot light " was on whenever he went by.
After 6 weeks he had yet to lose any weight and he had put an extra 2500 miles on his truck driving around and around the block everyday waiting for the Hot Donut light to be turned on
After 6 weeks he had yet to lose any weight and he had put an extra 2500 miles on his truck driving around and around the block everyday waiting for the Hot Donut light to be turned on
Ike
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Yesterday at the bank, a petite, little, older woman asked me if I would check her balance......
So, I pushed her over
So, I pushed her over
Ike
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Waukonda
BH
Did you hear about the Knight who gained too much weight? Sir Cumference.
Did you hear about the guy who sued the airline over his missing luggage? He lost his case.
Did you hear about the truck full of Vicks Vapor Rub that overturned on the highway? There was no congestion for several days.
BH
Did you hear about the Knight who gained too much weight? Sir Cumference.
Did you hear about the guy who sued the airline over his missing luggage? He lost his case.
Did you hear about the truck full of Vicks Vapor Rub that overturned on the highway? There was no congestion for several days.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Those are some good ones guys, I'm going to have to remember that Sir Circumference name for a couple of guys I know. Wish Ihad time to go back through this thread and read all the older jokes but I have to stand here at the sink and get these dishes washed while my wife watches TV in the other room.
Ike
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Waukonda wrote:Those are some good ones guys, I'm going to have to remember that Sir Circumference name for a couple of guys I know. Wish Ihad time to go back through this thread and read all the older jokes but I have to stand here at the sink and get these dishes washed while my wife watches TV in the other room.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Do you know why people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because Dawn is tough on Greece!
Because Dawn is tough on Greece!
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OLDE CUTLER
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 4335
- Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:11 pm
- Location: South Dakota
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Seen on a local sign:
"Mountains are not funny, they are hill areas."
"Mountains are not funny, they are hill areas."
"Sometimes even the blind chicken finds corn"
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
OLDE CUTLER wrote:Seen on a local sign:
"Mountains are not funny, they are hill areas."