ONE MORE STEP

[orvet]

This is a story I wrote for a college writing class in 1998.
It may resonate with those of you who have been in the military, especially the Marines.
I think the rest of you can relate at least in part, based on life experiences.

Dale




ONE MORE STEP
There are many experiences in life, which leave a lasting impression on a young man. Military service is one of those. In 1970 I enlisted in the Marine Corps. The Vietnam War had not yet begun to wind down and the training we received was based on the assumption that we would all see combat. The experiences I had in the Marine Corps changed forever the way I think about life. Not only my experiences in Vietnam, but also my experiences in training preparing for Vietnam, made a lasting impression on me.

In the summer of 1970 I found myself in the Infantry Training Regiment at Camp Pendleton, California. I was in Oscar Company, Second Battalion, Second Infantry Training Regiment. This was quite an adjustment for a country boy from the mountains of Oregon who grew up in a log cabin without electricity. We were arranged in platoons in alphabetical order. This placed me at the rear of the forth platoon. Forth platoon always brought up the rear of the company. This was a good thing when we were getting shots, but it was a bad thing when we were on force marches.

A force march is a method of moving troops over a great distance in a short period of time. The idea behind a force march to get the troops to the area of the battlefield where they are needed most and still have them be in shape to fight. On a force march we marched at a pace called a “route step,” which is full 36 inch steps at a rate of 35 steps per minute. This may not sound like a lot of hard work until you consider the fact that we each carried a light field pack, (25 pounds), an M-16 rifle, combat helmet, (approximately 8 pounds), two canteens of water, and were wearing combat boots. Add to this the fact that the force marches were between 10 and 20 miles in length. The most difficult part for me was being at the tail end of the column. Being at the end of the column on a force march is like being on the back end of an accordion. We would run to catch up with the rest of the column as the troops got spaced out too far or we would bunch up and slowdown when we did catch up with the column. A route step is much easier to sustain if you can maintain a consistent speed like the people up at the front of the column.

I have never in my life been fond of running. I'm even less fond of running with all the gear needed for combat. The entire process lost even more appeal to me considering the distance and the fact that there was always one big guy at the end of the column ready to butt stroke any stragglers with his rifle.
On these force marches I learned something very important about myself. I would begin the force marches singing the marching songs along with all the other troops. Our spirits would be soaring and it would feel good to burn some of the pent-up energy of youth. Our bodies were in the best physical condition of our lives and we were Marines! I would begin the march singing and looking at the horizon. Several miles into the march my eyes would have dropped to the head of the column. Halfway through the march my eyes would be on the back of the man in front of me. Three-fourths of the way through the march my eyes would be on my feet.

Many times I reach the point of physical exhaustion. I did not know how I could continue. At this point in the march my mind would began to play games. "Is it really worth it," it would ask. As the exhaustion increased so did the games of my mind. "I can’t go on," it would scream. Finally it would reach the penultimate of mind games, "It would be better to die right here," it would say, "there is no way humanly possible for me to continue." At this point I was stumbling. All pretense of maintaining a 36-inch step was gone. We were no longer marching we were trying to survive.

Training had taught us that in combat this type of troop movement was necessary for us to live and do our job. I continued on in the march one step in a time. At this point I was looking at my feet, trying not to trip over a rock or a rut, or even over my own feet. My mantra at this point was, “One more step, one more step. Oh God please, one more step." I never fell out on a force march. I always completed them. It always seems to me to be a miracle that I had arrived alive at the end of the march.
I never really understood the significance of being able to reach down inside myself and by sheer determination and willpower somehow find the strength to take one more step. I didn't realize the significance of this ability until I was much older.

As I have grown older I have often encountered situations where I have reached inside myself for the strength to take one more step.
While in the Marine Corps I broke my left wrist. As a result of this I was medivaced home from Vietnam. I had surgery on my left wrist. When the surgery was unsuccessful I was discharged from the Marine Corps. It was at this point in my life when I really began to appreciate the ability to take one more step.

Since 1973, when I was discharged from the Marine Corps I have had nine additional surgeries on my left wrist and one on my right. I have had three artificial wrist joints, and my wrist now consists of bone grafted into it from my hips. As a result of the surgeries I have endured a great deal of physical pain. When the pain becomes too intense I have been able somehow to reach inside and say, "Oh God, just one more step."

In 1985 I ruptured a disk in my back. I continued to work with the ruptured disk until it became so severe I lost the use of my left leg. I was off of work for one year and underwent surgery for a laminectomy and removal of the disc. At this point in time I experienced the most intense physical pain I have ever known. There were times when I felt that I could not continue, but then I would reach inside and somewhere find the strength to take one more step.

The ability to tap into a hidden inner source of energy has helped me often in my life. It is a principal I have relied on in many situations. I have used this in my work life as well as in my personal life. This principle works for me when I am tired. I have been able throughout my adult life to get by on very little sleep. I am able to find the energy to keep going by reaching down deep inside me.

Throughout my life I have been able to the find inner strength when I needed it. I didn't realize exactly how important this was going to be to me when I was young. I can say without hesitation, from this point in life, that it was one of the most important principles I have ever learned.

I never thought that there would be an emotional and spiritual application of this principle. In January 1999 my marriage of 24 1/2 years ended in divorce. The 2 1/2 years prior to the divorce with the most emotionally and spiritually challenging years of my life.

There were many times I survived on sheer willpower and on that inner source of strength. Physically I was drained. I slept an average of three to four hours per night during this time. Daily I reached inside myself to find the strength to take one more step. I reach the point of physical exhaustion and beyond. Always I found the strength to take the next step.

I didn't realize that this same principle had mental and emotional applications. As one might imagine this was a time of mental exhaustion for me. I would work all day and then come home to a relationship that was crumbling before my eyes. Emotionally and mentally I ran out of gas. I reach down inside myself to find the emotional and mental strength I needed to go on. I made a startling discovery, there wasn't anything there to draw strength from. I really was empty.

As I lay on my bed one night I cried out to God. "God," I said, "I don't have any strength left. If I ever move from this spot it will not be from my power but from yours." As I lay there, slowly I began to feel a warm trickle of energy flowing into my body. I know the energy came from a source outside of myself. I know it came from God. In retrospect, I think the source of energy within me all of my life was not my own. I believe the well of strength within myself did not come from me, but from God.

Through the process leading to my divorce and the subsequent year, I have gone to that inner well of strength repeatedly for the energy to take one more step. My struggles at this point in life have a decided spiritual bend to them. I struggle with the issues of being single and 48 years old. I struggle with the issue of remarriage. I also struggle with what type of woman should I marry. I struggle with issues of trusting another person and allowing them to get close enough to hurt me.

These new issues I struggle with all have a spiritual dimension to them. I made up my mind that God is the most important person in my life. Any woman I marry must be content with that. All the issues in my life now seem to be related to my relationship with God. If I were not concerned about placing God first in my life many of these issues would be decidedly less important. I find myself again and again crying out, "Oh God, one more step." The difference I find today is that the source of my strength is no longer within myself. The source of my strength comes from God. No longer do I have to grope within my being to find the strength for one more step. I go directly to the Father.

The apostle Paul said, in 2 Cor 12:10, “…When I am weak, then am I strong.” I have come to realize this is perhaps the most important spiritual principle in my life. When I am weak I can go to the Creator of the Universe for strength. I don't know of a source of strength and power greater than this. I can now thank God for my weaknesses because then I can go to him and say, "Oh God, give me the strength for one more step."

[Bret888]

Another great story Dale, and very well written. You are a man of many talents it seems!

[AREMINGTONSEDGE]

Dale,
The more I read and learn about you the more I realize how much we have in common. I am sure the folks at AAPK feel that way most of the time about each other. Being an ex-Seabee and injured while in service; I too was Honorably discharged under medical condition. I too went through a divorce but this occured while I was pastoring in Canon city, Colorado with the Church of the Nazarene. My wife at the time decided to have an affair with a man affiliated with my church. I became a new Father 1 year prior to her affair so I not only lost my wife, but my child and subsequently my ministry. From the worry and stress of it all I became a workaholic, turned away from my Lord and Saviour and became the protigal son, which led to my suffering 3 heart attacks. To compile many long stories short, I returned to my Rock, my Salvation and my loving God. At the moment I serve him in the role of a Clinical R.N. working with children. He has blessed me with what I consider my soul mate the source of my strength and a guidepost in my life which in part makes me the man I am today. I am a blessed man Dale, I thank my dear Saviour daily for what he does for me, my family and friends. Thank you for your inspiration and for sharing such a private but meaningful part of your life. I know God is and will continue to bless you richly for your testimonial.
In his mercy and grace, your friend,

Linwood B. Wilson, AKA "Rocky"

[Paladin]

Very well written, Dale and Amen, Brother.

Ray

[jerryd6818]

Dale - Ever hear about those poor buggers that made the hump from 29 Palms to Pendleton?

Everything I needed to know about life, I learned in the United States Marine Corps.
Improvise, Adapt and Overcome
Just when you think you can't take one more step, take two.
Pick 'em up and set 'em down.
Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance.
No matter what it is in life, never fall out.

Semper Fi my friend.

[Quick Steel]

Thank you.
QS

[Ramrod]

Dale,
Excellent!
Mark

Improvise, Adapt and Overcome
Just when you think you can't take one more step, take two.
Pick 'em up and set 'em down.
Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance.
No matter what it is in life, never fall out.

Jerry,
I never was in the service, but I live by these words.
Mark

[orvet]

Thanks guys.

Well said Jerry!
After the Corps nothing looks quite the same.
After Viet Nam, everyday is a holiday (as well as a bonus) and every meal is a banquet!

[wizrd]

For Dale & Rocky & Jerry - and all the other men everywhere who have served our great country - I thank God every day that men like you have lived. I never had the honor to serve, but as a career firefighter of 31 years & 59 days, I know whatit's like to serve with men who put themselves in harms way every day for their bothers and fellow man. Your place in heaven is reserved, you've already been through hell. God bless.

[orvet]

Thanks wizrd, it was my honor & privilege to serve and I think I speak for most veterans when I say that.