I HATE PHONE MENUS

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dlr110
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I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby dlr110 » Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:56 am

This is from a section of my unpublished book "Random Thought of an Old Man, I'm Right Again." The section is about things that make me mad. I believe most of us can relate to this one, having had some really bad calls.

Touch-Tone-Phone-Menus.jpg
Your wait time is 1 hour
Touch-Tone-Phone-Menus.jpg (26.86 KiB) Viewed 325 times

When I need customer service for my TV, computer, one of my credit cards, it really irritates me to call and I’m greeted by a recorded voice, that really tightens my jaw. I hate phone menus! The first thing you hear is “thank you for calling…please listen carefully for our menu options have changed.” Now a voice comes on giving you the option of hearing everything in Spanish and of course I ignore it.

Now you start hearing things like "if you have an account press 1." "please say or press in your account number." Here is my favorite when nothing matches the reason for your call "if you would like to hear these options again press 9 otherwise goodbye." Everyone go ahead and scream. ::woot::

Next, if you do select one of the options, you hear “we’re experiencing a higher than normal call volume, your approximate wait time will be 25 minutes or you may press one to leave us your name and number and we will return your call as soon as possible.” Or you may also hear “Your call is very important to us, all calls are answered in the order they were received, please hold and a customer service representative will be with you as soon as possible.” ::facepalm::

Now you sit and wait on hold for 30 minutes listening to either the worst concert or 80’s music you ever heard or maybe infomercials that have nothing to do with your problem. Then when you finally get transferred to another machine you hear “so we can better serve you and for training purposes this call may be recorded.” I.... DON’T.... CARE,.... JUST GIVE ME SOMEONE TO TALK TOO! ::cuss::

No, you don’t get to talk to a live breathing person yet. You must now answer questions like, “please say or enter your account number.” Then the computer wants to know your first and last name, the phone number on the account, what you are calling about, do you want to continue with the automated service and no telling what else before it will transfer you to someone that will speak to you in a human voice.

It’s about now that I want to hang up or just SCREAM into the phone, but I take a deep breath, knowing that I would only sound and look very foolish yelling at a computer-generated voice. NOW…...the topper is, after you have given all your vital information to the computer a live breathing person finally comes on the line. They can never use simple names like Frank, Jim, or Susan. They have to use names like “Dilip” or “Pahi” and the first thing they say is “hello my name is…. for verification, my I have your name and the phone number on the account?” AGAIN!!! I just start counting, ONE,.... TWO,.... THREE.

At this point my blood pressure has reached a dangerous level, my voice has gone up a few decibels and sounds more like a woman’s voice than my own. I’ve been on the phone pushing buttons so long now that I’ve forgotten why I made this call in the first place as the agent finally starts to ask relevant questions. Depending on the reason for my call why can’t I have the option up front to choose the automated service or go straight to a live customer service agent with no automated questions?
David R.
YOUR TALENTS ARE GOD'S GIFT TO YOU, WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM, IS YOUR GIFT BACK TO GOD.

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treefarmer
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby treefarmer » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:22 am

::clapping:: ::tu:: You're preachin' to the choir!
Treefarmer

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RalphAlsip
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby RalphAlsip » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:24 am

Many of these systems are designed expressly to get you to hang up (i.e., abandon the call) without consuming the time of an employee. There are target "metrics" for abandoned calls and if they are not high enough, then the system gets changed to make it even more frustrating for a caller to try to increase the number of abandoned calls. If you haven't already, you will soon hear an option to provide a call back number and they will promise to call you back. This is another cost saving feature because the company has to pay for the minutes that you are connected to their phone line. My experience with the call back feature is poor. Either I don't get a call back or it comes at an inconvenient time and I can't answer and then back to square one.

Another particularly frustrating aspect of customer service is that a company will bend over backwards to acquire a new customer. But if you are a loyal existing customer you get treated poorly because they know they can "get away with it". One of the first things you should think about communicating either by pushing a button or by saying to an agent is that you are considering cancelling your account. The prompts the system / person to help you or transfer your call to someone competent. What a sorry state of affairs.

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Mumbleypeg
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby Mumbleypeg » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:52 am

During a similar call recently, after entering my name and account number the computerized voice said "we have noticed from our records that you are still receiving paper statements by mail. Would you like to convert to automated payments? If so please press 1. You will not lose your position in the waiting queue. If you do not wish to convert your account to the convenience of automated payments press 2 to be placed back in the queue. ::dang::

No I do not want you to automatically deduct your payment from my bank account!!! So if after the fact I have a question or a problem you can put me on hold in this idiotic system!!! :x I want to see what you're charging me for first - THEN assuming I agree I'll send you my payment!

Ken
Member AKTI, TSRA, NRA.

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tongueriver
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby tongueriver » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:53 am

RalphAlsip wrote: What a sorry state of affairs.

Boy, do you ever have that right. ::td:: ::td:: ::td:: The original post neglected to mention that when one finally gets to speak to an actual human, he/she is not even close to being understandable in any current version of the English language.

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tongueriver
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby tongueriver » Wed Aug 14, 2019 3:00 am

My wife recently was given an I phone from a friend. We were faced with setting up a new account with Tracfone for this used phone (we already had one account with Tracfone on ANOTHER phone). So we had to coordinate 1. Apple, 2. former owner account, 3. our new second Tracfone account. She was on the phone dealing with these folk for over THREE hours. ::td:: ::td:: ::td::

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Steve Warden
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby Steve Warden » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:27 am

I'm another one who wants to throw the phone across the room when the menu starts.
First thing I do is press 0 as soon as the menu starts. While it's not an option they put on the menu, many companies still go to a live person when you select 0. I have noticed, however, as Ralph alluded to, the majority of companies do not acknowledge 0 in their attempt to avoid customer complaints.
Take care and God bless,

Steve
TSgt USAF, Retired

But any knife is better than no knife! ~ Mumbleypeg (aka Ken)

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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby Railsplitter » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:47 am

Steve Warden wrote:I'm another one who wants to throw the phone across the room when the menu starts.
First thing I do is press 0 as soon as the menu starts. While it's not an option they put on the menu, many companies still go to a live person when you select 0. I have noticed, however, as Ralph alluded to, the majority of companies do not acknowledge 0 in their attempt to avoid customer complaints.


I do that too. ::tu:: After a few times listening to all the options and then at the very end I'm told to press zero to speak to someone, I learned that pressing zero right from the start can sometimes get me a real person right away.
Rick T.
My Uncle owns a Red Barchetta.

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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby fergusontd » Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:45 am

::woot:: And these are the same companies that you get at least 10 robo calls a day from! ftd
"A pocketknife is a man's best friend!"

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rea1eye
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby rea1eye » Wed Aug 14, 2019 1:49 pm

Everything said is entirely accurate. I called THree times to get a chemotherapy order
clarified with a physician last week. Never got to talk to a live person. Voice mail
only. Physician's office NEver call back. Not only an inconvenience but DAngerous.

Is this any progress?

Bob

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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby buddyie22 » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:02 pm

I too am frustrated with all of the delaying tactics we must deal with to get a simple request taken care of. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and comply to the rehotic, that’s not rollin over its just getting the job done. Here is a sussegtion that may help when a sales person contacts you on the phone. They will say at the beginning of the call that “this call will be recorded” what I have found if you reply that you Do Not want to be Recorded, you may have to say it emphatically a couple of times, but as soon as they realize what you just said they will hang up immediately . And hopefully they will put you on a no call list Bing Go we have a winner. ::ds::
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XX Case XX
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby XX Case XX » Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:18 pm

As if the phone menus aren't bad enough, by the time you actually get to talk to a person, that individual is most often an idiot. When you go to the mall, grocery store, or anywhere else, you see all those morons that do nothing but stare at their phones all day?

Well, I got news for you. They are the ones you'll be speaking with when you do get a live person on the other end. ::barf::

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Mike
"If there are no Dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went". Will Rogers

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Cletus Awreetus
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby Cletus Awreetus » Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:56 pm

I hate when I press 1 for English and they connect me with osama bin laden's sister...
-the problem with society today is, no one drinks from the skulls of their dead enemies anymore..-

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OLDE CUTLER
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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby OLDE CUTLER » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:40 pm

I hate it too, but they had no choice when you have thousands of people calling every day wanting to know how to plug in their new computer. lol
"Sometimes even the blind chicken finds corn"

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Re: I HATE PHONE MENUS

Postby cody6268 » Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:29 pm

For English, Press One. Para Espanol, something another two. Getting a bit sick of that. You rarely get a live person, and when you do, it's typically someone from India who can barely understand the English language. Typically, I call our local branch of whatever. Unfortunately, a lot of places are getting rid of that, going to their main call center, which is almost always overseas.


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