"Murphy's Law on steroids"............

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knife7knut
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"Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by knife7knut »

As I sit down to write this(at 1:30 in the morning)my thoughts turn to a movie that I saw many years ago starring George C. Scott and Diana Rigg called,"Hospital" If you ever get a chance to see it,I would highly recommend that you do so.
With that in mind my story begins several years ago when I was diagnosed with a bleeding hiatal hernia.There was some question as to whether surgery would be successful;should the need arise. This was due to the fact that many years prior I had undergone surgery to remove cancerous growths in my throat resulting in my larynx being somewhat shortened.That is a whole other story for another time.
Anyway it became apparent that surgery would be required to repair the area affected.As it was explained to me there would be several incisions made in my chest and a robotic device would be inserted to perform the surgery.The whole process was supposed to take approximately four hours and recovery time was very quick.There was a disclaimer however;that being if the robot was unable to perform the surgery then my chest would have to be opened up ;increasing the procedure to about eight hours and recovery was a lot longer.
Two weeks before the surgery was to take place I took a rather bad fall on my front porch which bruised several ribs that have a habit of coming out of place periodically.This was due to injuries I suffered in a head on collision back in the 1970's.The ribs never healed properly due to an incompetent doctor who is now very famous and on television regularly.But that is ALSO another story for another time.
I was concerned that this might delay the procedure but the doctor was hopeful that it would not. As the day drew closer I did begin to feel better and that lessened my concern. How was I to know that bruised ribs were to be the least of my worries!
I was required to be at the hospital at 5 am so they could get started early. The hospital is about 30 miles from my home and the drive in was anything but pleasant. It was mid-January and snowing rather heavily and at that hour the plows hadn't been out and the only way I could tell I was on the right side of the road was the rumble strip in the middle.
Got to the hospital on time and checked in and they got me into prep.And then it began:
My veins have always been hard to access and that day was no exception.In attempting to insert an IV the nurse punctured a vein and my arm blew up filled with blood.When they finally fixed the problem I was wheeled into the operating room.
The next thing I remember(some 8-9 hours later)was waking up....on the operating table with them sitting me up and trying to install an epideural in my back! I will not even TRY to describe the pain I was feeling! The anesthetic had worn off and they had not given me any pain medication. Somehow I managed to stop screaming when they finally got it in and they wheeled me to my room.
The next day (I think it was anyway)I woke up with multiple items inserted into my body. Two IV's(one in each arm);a drainage tube in my chest;oxygen in my nostrils and monitors everywhere.Without going into detail let's just say I was,"totally incapacitated". I could do NOTHING for myself. And the "fun" was just beginning!
They had also installed a morphine pump and after the second day it no longer eased the pain. They tried other drugs(dilaudid was one)to no avail.Strangely enough what finally wound up working was Tylenol with codeine!
The third day I woke up and did not know where I was;what I was doing there and didn't know who my wife was. They thought I might have had a stroke and got me down for an MRI. Then they thought it might have been a heart attack so they ordered a chemical stress test. That is one test I will NEVER go through again! If you have never had your heart beating at 225 beats per minute you have NOT lived!
The following day they removed the oxygen and I immediately started feeling nauseous.It turned out the culprit was the stuff the nurses washed their hands with when they came in the room! Back in went the oxygen.
Then they came to remove the drainage tube from my chest.It is about 2 feet long and the normal procedure is to pull it steadily out without stopping. Well that day they had delegated that responsibility to a trainee and she tried to remove it about three inches at a time! Luckily she wasn't close enough for me to punch!
So now comes the day that I am to go home and the doctor's team comes in to check me out. It was decided that the staples holding the incision together would be removed as the doctor was going to be out of town when the two weeks were up(that is when they were supposed to come out). so the staples were removed and the doctors left.
As I am reaching to pull down my nightgown I look down and watch the incision in my chest open up all the way! I tell my wife that we might have a problem and she takes one look at it and RUNS down the hallway to the nurses' station.That is the first time I have EVER seen her runs.
For some reason only the outside opened up;the internal sutures held firm. Strangely enough there was no pain involved. The nurses came in and immediately got on the PA system and called for the doctor. One of the nurses asked if she could take a picture of it to freak out her boyfriend. I said sure;I'll only charge you five bucks apiece.
It was determined after awhile that it could not be sewed up again and would have to heal from the inside outward.
A couple days later we left the hospital with instructions on how to change the dressings on the incision and what to put on it. All in all it took almost three months for it to heal. I had also spent two weeks in the hospital.
I jokingly tell people now that I think they were trying to kill me but on reflection I wonder just how much of that is truth? As an aside;I was going to post a picture of what it looked like right after it happened but I don't think it would be appropriate.My wife has even better ones in her camera from about 15 minutes afterward.
As I said in the beginning:Murphy's law on steroids. ::dang::
Adventure BEFORE Dementia!
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Paladin
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by Paladin »

Wow! And that is all I can think of to say. Wow! What a nightmare, Ray. Sounds like something out of the 1800s and I don't think it would be inappropriate to show the photo.
Glad you survived that mess and can continue to enthrall us with your tales.

Ray
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Jacknifeben
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by Jacknifeben »

What part of this world do you live in. You must be some tough man to go through all of this?
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by jerryd6818 »

Ray, if it wasn't for bad luck, you wouldn't have any luck at all. Maybe a different hospital for any future fiascoes?
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dlr110
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by dlr110 »

I've had just about everything from my big toe to my heart operated on, but never a nightmare like that. God Bless you.
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doglegg
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by doglegg »

I always enjoy your recounting your experiences. Sorry you had to suffer through it. Glad you're still around to share it with us. ::handshake::
knife7knut
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Re: "Murphy's Law on steroids"............

Post by knife7knut »

Paladin wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 11:32 am Wow! And that is all I can think of to say. Wow! What a nightmare, Ray. Sounds like something out of the 1800s and I don't think it would be inappropriate to show the photo.
Glad you survived that mess and can continue to enthrall us with your tales.

Ray
Hope this doesn't offend too many people and if so please delete them. The picture was taken shortly after it happened on January 19th 2018. It took almost 3 months for it to heal to where it didn't require cleaning and application of a dressing twice a day. It now is a half inch wide scar.
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Adventure BEFORE Dementia!
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