Sounds about right, good one!
Hear of a Good One Lately
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Captain O
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A friend of mine and I was discussing "Polish Soul Food" and he asked me if I liked Polish Kielbasa. I replied "yes". He asked how I felt about Pirogis, and I told him that they were good when fresh. He asked how I felt about Chrusciki (Polish 'Angel Wings' cookies). I told him that they were nice. Then he asked if I liked Garagkey and I asked him what they were. He replied. "They're what you use to open a garage door." 
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Captain O
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I MUST stop dating!
I went out on a date with a younger lady that told me she was "quite a catch"... so I threw her back in the Columbia River!
I went out on a date with a younger lady that told me she was "quite a catch"... so I threw her back in the Columbia River!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Not much chance on a second date, unless you get some worms.
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Captain O
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Captain O
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A wealthy man had an unusual last request... He wanted to be buried with his treasure.
The man was so wealthy he could afford to be buried with a 300-pound (Troy weight) slab of gold cradled in his arms. His spirit rose to the Pearly Gates and suddenly, the man stood before St. Peter.
Peter asked, "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?" The tycoon offered him the slab of solid, glimmering, precious metal. Peter look one look at it and uttered a single word... "Pavement?"
The man was so wealthy he could afford to be buried with a 300-pound (Troy weight) slab of gold cradled in his arms. His spirit rose to the Pearly Gates and suddenly, the man stood before St. Peter.
Peter asked, "Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?" The tycoon offered him the slab of solid, glimmering, precious metal. Peter look one look at it and uttered a single word... "Pavement?"
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 13943
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
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Paladin
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 11681
- Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:20 am
- Location: Near Austin, Texas, between a Rock and a Weird Place
- Contact:
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
I got a kick out of this one.
- Attachments
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Paladin
God Bless the USA
Please visit my store SWEETWATER KNIVES
"Buy more ammo" - Johnnie Fain
"I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy." Augustus McCrae
God Bless the USA
Please visit my store SWEETWATER KNIVES
"Buy more ammo" - Johnnie Fain
"I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy." Augustus McCrae
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Meridian_Mike
- Posts: 5040
- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:36 pm
- Location: Mississippi
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
LOL....
Now THAT is a good one!
Now THAT is a good one!
"Life is tough.... but it's tougher if you're stupid."....John Wayne
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Paladin
- Bronze Tier
- Posts: 11681
- Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 12:20 am
- Location: Near Austin, Texas, between a Rock and a Weird Place
- Contact:
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Thanks guys. Glad you enjoyed it.
Ray
Ray
Paladin
God Bless the USA
Please visit my store SWEETWATER KNIVES
"Buy more ammo" - Johnnie Fain
"I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy." Augustus McCrae
God Bless the USA
Please visit my store SWEETWATER KNIVES
"Buy more ammo" - Johnnie Fain
"I'm glad I ain't scared to be lazy." Augustus McCrae
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Funny stuff.
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MissouriGuerrilla
- Posts: 857
- Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2021 1:09 am
- Location: A few miles from Pomme De Terre Lake, Missouri
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
The "Dad Cooks Dinner" 
I have been reading thru the first four pages of this thread and I am in tears. My God, these are good!
I have been reading thru the first four pages of this thread and I am in tears. My God, these are good!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Heard this on the radio today. Funny!
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem - the captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate but did not utter a word. This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said, "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem - the captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate but did not utter a word. This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said, "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"
“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” (Paulo Coelho)
Men make plans and God laughs
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.
Men make plans and God laughs
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
John
Not all who wander are lost!!
Of all the paths you take in life,
Make sure some of them are Dirt!!!
Of all the paths you take in life,
Make sure some of them are Dirt!!!
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OLDE CUTLER
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 4941
- Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:11 pm
- Location: South Dakota
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A sign I saw today.
NOTICE
Thank you for noticing this notice.
Your noting has been noted
and reported to the authorities.
NOTICE
Thank you for noticing this notice.
Your noting has been noted
and reported to the authorities.
"Sometimes even the blind chicken finds corn"
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A belly button is basically a scar from when you got into a knife fight with a guy in a mask after being evicted from your first place.
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
TOM - KGFG - (Knife-Guy-From-Germany)
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Hers a true story. 
I bought my first small fixed blade that came in the mail a couple of weeks ago. When I unboxed it & took it out of the sheath my wife looked at it and said:
"That one makes me feel uncomfortable."
Without missing a beat I replied: "Well good! I can work with that."
She asked: "What do you mean?"
I said:"Well, when I got my first folder that also made you "feel uncomfortable". 100 folders later you have no problem with them. I will gladly help you expand your "comfort zone" honey." 
I bought my first small fixed blade that came in the mail a couple of weeks ago. When I unboxed it & took it out of the sheath my wife looked at it and said:
"That one makes me feel uncomfortable."
Without missing a beat I replied: "Well good! I can work with that."
She asked: "What do you mean?"
I said:"Well, when I got my first folder that also made you "feel uncomfortable". 100 folders later you have no problem with them. I will gladly help you expand your "comfort zone" honey."
TOM - KGFG - (Knife-Guy-From-Germany)
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Another true story.
This morning as my wife was thinking about house work she said:
"I don't know what I sould do now. Think I'll make a list. 
Lists get done. "
Without missing a beat I said: "Great idea! I'll make a list of all the knives I need to buy." 
Ten minutes later she is at the kitchen table highlighting stuff on her house work list.
I said: "Great idea! I'll highlight the ones I need to buy first."
This morning as my wife was thinking about house work she said:
"I don't know what I sould do now.
Think I'll make a list. Lists get done. "Without missing a beat I said: "Great idea!
I'll make a list of all the knives I need to buy." Ten minutes later she is at the kitchen table highlighting stuff on her house work list.
I said: "Great idea! I'll highlight the ones I need to buy first."
TOM - KGFG - (Knife-Guy-From-Germany)
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
It took me a minute.
TOM - KGFG - (Knife-Guy-From-Germany)
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
I believe..., every knife is a soul, looking for a soulmate.
Weebit-Nano https://www.weebit-nano.com/
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weebit_Nano
US - ARMY - COMBAT - ENGINEERS - 1990 - 1993 - God Bless Our Troops!
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
Thanks Tom. I wish I could say I had thought that one up.
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treefarmer
- Gold Tier
- Posts: 13943
- Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 6:53 am
- Location: Florida Panhandle(LA-Lower Alabama)
Re: Hear of a Good One Lately
A GUN IN THE HAND IS BETTER THAN A COP ON THE PHONE.