All About Pocket Knives

....

ONE MORE!

Very good Marc!

Bill? Hillary?

OH YEAH!

she's billary to those who know her well! this is her looking down in that last pic.

Hey! Johnnie; Looking down at what? "The State of the

Union?"

OK, 1 more before I go to the shop. OK 3 Same website

MITCH RAPP Sezs

Hey! Johnnie; Looking down at what?

Well.......he asked

9ball

gaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!

And while I am still "On Topic".......

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2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda

7:00 pm Opening flag burning

7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9.00 pm Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand

11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay -Sean Penn

11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean

12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home

6:00 am, Ted and Hillary have breakfast in bed.

6:20 AM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

Johnnie; Speaking of Billary..........................................

Hillarious stuff.....please don't stop. *laughing*

The Great Wizard of Oz

The last four ex-U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they whirled to OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and came before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:" I've come for some courage."

"NO PROBLEM!" says the Wizard. "WHO IS NEXT?"

Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well........., I.......I think I need a brain."

"DONE" says the Wizard. "WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?"

Up stepped George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."

"I'VE HEARD IT'S TRUE!" says the Wizard. "CONSIDER IT DONE."

There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"Is Dorothy here?"

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys, Charlie, leans forward and whispers something to Bill.

At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head, "No."

The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was a unanimous request of the entire team, from the owner of the team to the bat boy."* *

Bill hesitates...But begins to change his mind when the agent tells him the fans would love it! Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, "Ok! If that is what the people want. "C'mere Hilly baby..." With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field.

She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, "Bill, you!”$@&!&!" The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up and down, cheering, hooting and hollering, and high-fiving. Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd.

He leans over to the agent and says, "How about that! I would have never believed how much everyone would enjoy that!"

Noticing that the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong.

The agent replies, "Sir, I said they wanted you to throw out the first "pitch".*

BILL AND HILLARY'S 40TH ANNIVERSARY

Bill and Hillary were married 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked.

However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why.

That evening they were out for a special dinner. After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened but I guess after all those years away from home on the road, temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years."

They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "Why do you have all that money in the box?"

Bill answered, "Whenever the box filled with empties, I cashed them in."

This came in my morning email.

I couldn't resist posting it!

Good One! Here's one more.

At an outdoor cook-out back in the Spring to welcome home a Marine who was wounded in Iraq; I passed a used book to our CPA who attended also.

I recevied the following email this morning.

I have adjusted some teXt to protect the innocent.

Rick,

I really didn't want to read "Clinton Confidential, The Climb to Power",
by George Carpozi,Jr. but I made myself do it. It's unbelievable how
trashy they are when I thought they couldn't get any more trashier. And
the book only goes through 1995!

If the Republican Party had any smarts (which I'm not so sure about
anymore) they'd reprint this book and give it to every voting American to
reveal the sleaze we've experienced and will experience should the
smartest woman in American get elected.

However, one particular quote of Hillary's stands out from this chronicle
of Arkansas trailer park trash. It should be quoted and re-quoted
throughout the presidential campaign. It should stare us in the face
every day on billboards as we drive in our cars along America's highways
and byways. It should be printed and distributed to every red blooded
American and especially to all illegal immigrants. Children from one year
of age and up should be required to memorize it and regurgitate it at a
moments notice. At the minimum, all cars, trucks, planes, trains, (you
get the picture) should bear at least one, if not multiple bumper
stickers bearing this vintage Clinton message.

Here it is on page 186:

"Patterson (one of the infamous Arkansas State Troopers) heard Hillary
complain to Bill "I need to be XXXXed more than twice a year"."

There it is. Pure and simple. The Clinton legacy.

Now go out and have a nice day.

XXXXXXX

BTW: My favorite chapter was "The Bimbo Factor".

9ball

Hillary campaign button.

Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees "The President Must Die" written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off.

He storms into his security staff's headquaters and yells, "Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?"

The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor. Bill hollers, "Well dammit, don't just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT! I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT!"

The entire staff immediately jumped up and raced for the exits. Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, "Well Mr. President, we have some bad news, and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first?"

Clinton says, "Oh Hell, give me the bad news first." The officer says, "Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Al Gore's urine."

Clinton says, "Oh my god, I feel so ... so betrayed! My own vice president! Damn. Well, what's the really bad news?"

The officer replies, "Well, it's Hillary's handwriting."

I laughed my head off, still looking for it.