The Chief's Mess And Their Coffee Cups
Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2020 6:37 pm
I was perusing the "First Cup Diner" this morning and came across Ann's post about her "Daddy's Coffee" and a statement she made. The statement was: The coffee was refined down to something like mud, only not as runny. If it could have, it would have risen up out of the pot and killed us all."
That statement 'jump started' a memory of a most sacrilege incident onboard a ship I was stationed on. This IS a very true story. For those who are retired Naval sailors, you very well may fully understand what occurred on this very sad day inside the Chief's Mess. For those who are unlearned in the ways of a Navy Chief, follow along, you'll get the gist of this story.
I was just a young buck seaman at the time of this incident, working my way up the ranks. As such, all E-3 and below were, at some time during their Navy career, assigned to temporary duty of a minimum of 90 days of what was called "Mess Cook" duty. This duty consisted of washing pots & pans, helping the cooks, setting up the 'chow line' (food service line), serving the food, cleaning up afterward, etc., etc. Some of us young bucks would be assigned to the main galley, but at least two of us were assigned to the Chief's Mess. The duties were basically the same, but we would also learn to cook breakfast eggs to order for the Chief's.
Now, what one needs to fully understand is; ALL Chief's drink coffee...STRONG coffee, like the stuff Ann mentioned above. That is one of the greatest traditions of the Navy, especially in the Chief's Mess. Another GREAT tradition of a Chief is; they NEVER wash their coffee cup...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. A Chief's personal coffee cup would, over the months and years, become stained by the coffee. Some were lightly stained (usually indicated a newby Chief), and some were so richly stained, the inside of the cup was a dark walnut brown...indicating the longevity of an "Old Salt". Some of you may know where I'm going with this...but hang on, don't give it away just yet.
There were 28 Chief's onboard this ship and a part of this Chief's Mess. There were Chief's (E-7s), Senior Chief's (E-8s) and crusty old Master Chief's (E-9s), along with the Big Dog, the Command Master Chief (CMC), an E-9 with a Star above his Crow. He was the Alpha of the Mess...and believe it or not, of the entire ship's crew. So the stage is set...
It was always 'assumed' that every young buck seaman assigned to Mess Cook duty in the Chief's Mess KNEW that you NEVER, EVER wash the Chief's coffee cups. The most you ever did was rinse them out and hang them up, or place them in their assigned slot. (Ya'll know where I'm going with this now, don't you?) But on this fateful day, the day that the bowels of hell would open up and take a sacrifice, one young man decided, on his own, that he would truly please each and every Chief, and make them so proud of his initiative and caring, and would ensure that every disgusting looking, brown soiled coffee cup would be sparkling clean and shiny by evening meal.
This young pimply faced 18 year old was innocent, was never told to not do what he was so proud of doing. I think he truly believed he was going to receive an Accommodation Medal for his actions and be some kind of shipboard hero. But no, he had no idea what he was about to endure beyond imagination from 28 Khaki wearing monsters that were only believed to exist in a closet or under the bed, in a dark room of a three year old.
At the moment of discovery...one could hear the howling, cursing, screaming through the bulkheads, 15 frames fore and aft. If one just happened to be outside the entrance to the Chief's Mess, you didn't stick around to find out how hot the dragon's breath was gong to be. You just knew something grave and dangerous had just been unleashed. Everyone knew the voice of the Command Master Chief...he was the loudest and most profane of all the Chief's, for his cup had not been tainted by dishwashing suds in 26 years...yes, that's right, the same coffee cup for 26 years was now sparkly clean, not a speck of brown anywhere on it, inside, outside, top or bottom, as were all the other cups. It was like brand new. Eventually, the CMC sat down in the Mess and blubbered like a 6 month old baby who had just lost his favorite binky.
As to the young man...he became the most infamous seaman onboard and within three weeks, received transfer orders to another ship, for the Commanding Officer knew he would NEVER be forgiven by the Chief's, so he protected this young man from further disgrace and embarrassment...and quite possibly, from harm.
That statement 'jump started' a memory of a most sacrilege incident onboard a ship I was stationed on. This IS a very true story. For those who are retired Naval sailors, you very well may fully understand what occurred on this very sad day inside the Chief's Mess. For those who are unlearned in the ways of a Navy Chief, follow along, you'll get the gist of this story.
I was just a young buck seaman at the time of this incident, working my way up the ranks. As such, all E-3 and below were, at some time during their Navy career, assigned to temporary duty of a minimum of 90 days of what was called "Mess Cook" duty. This duty consisted of washing pots & pans, helping the cooks, setting up the 'chow line' (food service line), serving the food, cleaning up afterward, etc., etc. Some of us young bucks would be assigned to the main galley, but at least two of us were assigned to the Chief's Mess. The duties were basically the same, but we would also learn to cook breakfast eggs to order for the Chief's.
Now, what one needs to fully understand is; ALL Chief's drink coffee...STRONG coffee, like the stuff Ann mentioned above. That is one of the greatest traditions of the Navy, especially in the Chief's Mess. Another GREAT tradition of a Chief is; they NEVER wash their coffee cup...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. A Chief's personal coffee cup would, over the months and years, become stained by the coffee. Some were lightly stained (usually indicated a newby Chief), and some were so richly stained, the inside of the cup was a dark walnut brown...indicating the longevity of an "Old Salt". Some of you may know where I'm going with this...but hang on, don't give it away just yet.
There were 28 Chief's onboard this ship and a part of this Chief's Mess. There were Chief's (E-7s), Senior Chief's (E-8s) and crusty old Master Chief's (E-9s), along with the Big Dog, the Command Master Chief (CMC), an E-9 with a Star above his Crow. He was the Alpha of the Mess...and believe it or not, of the entire ship's crew. So the stage is set...
It was always 'assumed' that every young buck seaman assigned to Mess Cook duty in the Chief's Mess KNEW that you NEVER, EVER wash the Chief's coffee cups. The most you ever did was rinse them out and hang them up, or place them in their assigned slot. (Ya'll know where I'm going with this now, don't you?) But on this fateful day, the day that the bowels of hell would open up and take a sacrifice, one young man decided, on his own, that he would truly please each and every Chief, and make them so proud of his initiative and caring, and would ensure that every disgusting looking, brown soiled coffee cup would be sparkling clean and shiny by evening meal.
This young pimply faced 18 year old was innocent, was never told to not do what he was so proud of doing. I think he truly believed he was going to receive an Accommodation Medal for his actions and be some kind of shipboard hero. But no, he had no idea what he was about to endure beyond imagination from 28 Khaki wearing monsters that were only believed to exist in a closet or under the bed, in a dark room of a three year old.
At the moment of discovery...one could hear the howling, cursing, screaming through the bulkheads, 15 frames fore and aft. If one just happened to be outside the entrance to the Chief's Mess, you didn't stick around to find out how hot the dragon's breath was gong to be. You just knew something grave and dangerous had just been unleashed. Everyone knew the voice of the Command Master Chief...he was the loudest and most profane of all the Chief's, for his cup had not been tainted by dishwashing suds in 26 years...yes, that's right, the same coffee cup for 26 years was now sparkly clean, not a speck of brown anywhere on it, inside, outside, top or bottom, as were all the other cups. It was like brand new. Eventually, the CMC sat down in the Mess and blubbered like a 6 month old baby who had just lost his favorite binky.
As to the young man...he became the most infamous seaman onboard and within three weeks, received transfer orders to another ship, for the Commanding Officer knew he would NEVER be forgiven by the Chief's, so he protected this young man from further disgrace and embarrassment...and quite possibly, from harm.
Holy snarkies. That sucks! In the Marine Corps it was 30 day chunks with (supposedly) one chunk for each year served up to a total of 120 days. A few guys served more. Some guys served the total 120 days (me) and any number of guys fell way short of 120 days. 
That coffee tint gives every cup thereafter just the right taste. 
A good sea story starts out " Hey this ain't no $hit"! It's a wonder that Chief didn't make him walk the plank. "DON'T EVER WASH A LIFER'S COFFEE CUP"! ftd
