All About Pocket Knives

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

I hate seeing an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.

My dad used to say, "John, don't get old." I would reply, "But the alternative isn't any better."

When you look at the obituaries and people younger than you
are now dead, what professors that are highlighted
in your college magazine ( currently there is only 1 now), and who passed
in your high school /college class you start wondering how did I make ( or am I dreaming
in my dead state)?

When you purchase and starting handling a knife older than you and it is in good
condition you feel a little better about yourself and feel a sigh of relief.

Bob

My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else....

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

I thought growing old would take longer.

Perspectives change don't they. I remember when I was 3 years old on Daddy's 30th birthday actually thinking to myself how very old he was.

Getting old ain't for wimps.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what's going on.

The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed.... I need bail money.

I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can pet two dogs at once.

'' So let's raise a glass to old lovers & friends. And drink to the ones we won't see again. GHere's to the old days;the times we would spend. Drinking tonight, never getting our fill. 'cause if life were an ocean instead of a river,we'd be drinking together there still!'' Bob Wilhelm (Cheap Champagne Revue). '' Age is just a number+.....and mine is unlisted! ''

My 98 year old Father-in-law said, a few years ago, “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.”
He left us on his final journey back in February.
Treefarmer

treefarmer wrote: ↑Sun Sep 11, 2022 11:21 pm My 98 year old Father-in-law said, a few years ago, “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.”

Treefarmer

That's my thoughts on getting old too.

" I'm Too Young To Be This Old. "

too old...

Day 12 without chocolate. Lost hearing in my left eye.

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

The adult version of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" is "wallet, glasses, keys and phone." (and I would add knife)

Excellent Chris & very true.


A dog accepts you as the boss... a cat wants to see your resume.

Oops.... did I roll my eyes out loud?

Life is too short to waste time matching socks.

I just turned 71 I've lost most of my hair, I forget where I put things and I move a little slower these days. But getting older is better than the alternative.

dlr110 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 12, 2022 11:23 am I just turned 71 I've lost most of my hair, I forget where I put things and I move a little slower these days. But getting older is better than the alternative.

Sometimes I wonder.

A timely thread.

Just returned from my high school 50th reunion that was delayed 2 years with my wife and classmate. Had a great time. There were a lot of old people there. Felt out of place.

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed; we're having a staff meeting.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

The internet is nice to have but the whole world should not revolve around it like it does

Three brothers, ages 90, 92 & 95 live together.

The eldest is standing next to the upstairs bathtub when he stops and calls out, "I can't remember if I'm getting in the tub or out of the tub."

The middle brother replies, "I'll be right there", and begins climbing the stairs, then stops and calls to the youngest brother, "I can't remember if I'm going up the stairs or coming down."

The youngest brother is downstairs in the kitchen and says, "I hope I'm not as bad as you old farts when I get to be your age", then he knocks on wood for good measure. He then yells out, "I'll be right there, as soon as I answer the door."

Good one Suitcase and while I'm at it, it's good to see you posting.

Some people call me crazy. I prefer happy with a twist.

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."

I really don't mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.

People call me crazy but I tell them I'm not crazy it's everyone else that's crazy. I'm normal, just a little bit twisted.

jerryd6818 wrote: ↑Sun Sep 11, 2022 1:38 pm I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

I hate seeing an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.

Don't have problems with that anymore, I just sit down for the underwear and socks, got tired of falling down.

Samb wrote: ↑Wed Sep 14, 2022 2:38 pm I just sit down for the underwear and socks, got tired of falling down.

That would be funny if it wasn't so sad and probably close to the truth.