Cats are cool

[johnnierotten]

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY:


Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are

fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.


The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an

attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I

could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement

was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.


Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.


I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and

snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and

seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards

regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged

protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......

For now.

[justold52]

like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist???

[orvet]

I love cats..................................................................................................................stir fried with Hoisin sauce!