Not Quite Sure What To Call These

Steve Warden · Post by **Steve Warden** » Tue Apr 14, 2020 6:10 pm

Good one, LJ!

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Wed Apr 15, 2020 12:30 pm

: [email protected] (20.95 KiB) Viewed 4038 times

KLJ77 · Post by **KLJ77** » Thu Apr 16, 2020 3:37 pm

(Yes, these are the exact protocols the CDC, WHO, Trump Virus Team and other supposedly expert Dr.'s and virologists have been putting out for the past six weeks. The ridiculousness of how they have 'changed their protocols' almost on a daily basis is funny...yet, not really) And of course, some Governor's have gone completely and insanely ballistic on their Right destroying and dictator style rules. (My words/thoughts in bold)

Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.

4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my..

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).

14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?

17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with "I don't want to trigger panic, but…"

18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.

19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.

20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.

21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…

24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).

25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, for when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?

I do not know who the original author is, but they did a great job at putting this coronavirus life into proper perspective.

royal0014 · Post by **royal0014** » Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:48 am

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Fri Apr 17, 2020 10:28 am

Good ones Chris.

Steve Warden · Post by **Steve Warden** » Fri Apr 17, 2020 11:47 am

Chris, the Skittles had me rolling!

KLJ77 · Post by **KLJ77** » Fri Apr 17, 2020 9:03 pm

jerryd6818 · Post by **jerryd6818** » Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:50 pm

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

> - Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it again?... I think it has a virus ...

> - Just asked a 6 year old if he understands why there is no school. He said yes because they are out of toilet paper.

> - On the bright side, I am no longer calling this shelter-in-place. I am an artist-in-residence.

> - After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.

> - You’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home. One word can change your attitude and one cough can change your life.

> - Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We’re told “no” if we get too close to strangers and we get really excited about car rides.

> - If you thought toilet paper was crazy ... just wait until 300 million people all want a haircut appointment.

> - 2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April.

> - Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent COVID-19 but to stop eating.

> - If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.

> - This cleaning with alcohol is total b.s. NOTHING gets done after that first bottle.

> - Kinda’ starting to understand why pets try to run out of the house when the door opens.

> - Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???

> - You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers….

> - Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture.”

> - My Mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by laying in the bed all day, but look at me now! I’m saving the world!

> - I miss the days when we were terrified of Romaine lettuce. Ahh, the good times….

> - I swear my fridge just said: “what the hell do you want now?”

> - Whoever owes you money, go to their house now. They should be home.